Last week, a friend passed away, the son of a member of our church committed suicide, our Associate Pastor’s father-in-law passed away and a wedding I officiated at did not go as planned.
My friend, Blossom, was writing a book with me which we tentatively had called Dying Well. She wasn’t well enough to write a great deal, but more importantly, she died well. I had the privilege of sitting at her bedside while she planned her own funeral – complete with a 48 balloon release. It may seem strange to you, but I like funerals.
Blossom's life was lived well, too. Yet, she told me that if she had to do it all over again, she’d do everything for God. I thought about that comment a lot last week and on Sunday shared it with my church as I spoke on death and dying well. Was it a co-incidence that I was speaking on that very subject the week Blossom died? I don’t think so. I write a weekly newspaper column and talked a little more about Blossom if you'd like to read it.
We have 3 services on Sunday mornings and due to the subject matter and the fact that it got progressively hotter at each service, I was feeling drained. Now, I’m always pretty tired by the time I finish the 11:00 service and ready to go home, but people like to talk about various things. When I did finally get home, I had just enough time to change my shirt, because it was soaking wet, and go back to the church because I had a wedding at 3:00 pm. By 2:15 when I got there, the church was already hellishly hot.
It started out with the bride being late. The groom had warned me that she was normally behind schedule but while waiting for her, the groom remembered that he had forgotten to pick up the boutonnières. I told him it doesn’t really matter if the guys had their boutonnieres or not as the girls had their flowers.
He said, “No, no, she will be really mad.” So he talked to the bride’s mom who works at Safeway. She ordered more boutonnières and they sent a guy to pick them up. So that was fine.
Meanwhile somebody had brought the CD that they had made with all the music to play at the wedding. Our sound guy could not get it play any songs at all. By now it is 3:10. The wedding was to start at 3:00. The bride has only just arrived, but because we couldn’t get the CD to play, there is no music.
Since it was so hot, the guests were milling around outside. I had gotten all the people inside at 3:00 and now they’d been sitting for ten minutes in the sweltering heat. Given that we couldn’t get any music, they were just sitting there in the quietness.
I started running around to different people asking if they have any kind of romantic or classical songs on a CD. We finally came up with a Nat King Cole CD and the bride was going to come down the aisle to Unforgettable. The groom was pacing, wondering how he was going to tell his bride about this, knowing she would be upset.
Meanwhile they phoned the guy who had gone to get the boutonnieres and asked if he’d got them yet. He said, “No, they are not here. I was at Safeway and they don’t know anything about it.” When asked which store he went to, he had gone to the wrong place.
I’m thinking it is now twenty after, and the people are getting antsy. I tell them not to worry about the boutonnieres, let’s get started. At this time, one of the bridesmaids, who has recently had a baby, tells me she has to nurse her child. The rest of the bridemaids stand around outside while inside the mother nurses her baby, which takes about 20 minutes.
Finally the guy comes back with the boutonnieres, the baby has finished nursing, we’ve got some music to play and now we are ready to go – even if we are 45 minutes late. Just before we start, the bride asks me if I have seen the photographer. I haven’t. The groom gets on the phone and calls the photographer who is lost. The groom is just screaming at him and even though we are in a back room I think everyone in the church can hear him. He is mad.
By this time, the bride’s mother and the mother of the groom have come down so it is time to start the wedding. So I anxiously say to the groom, “We gotta go, we gotta go.”
He just has to get himself straight. He is still red-faced mad. Finally he calms down. Everybody puts on their smiles, I tell the guests that the photographer and video guy have not arrived and ask that everybody snap pictures and take videos the best they can.
Just at the very end of the wedding, when we are signing the register, the video guy comes in, turns on the camera, and gets a picture of us. The wedding is finally over and the bride and groom leave to get in the limousine, but it hasn’t arrived.
By this time it is almost 5:00 pm and I have something else I need to do, so I have to leave. They say they are fine and off I go, leaving them waiting for the limo. I hope it showed up.
On Tuesday night, I met with an engaged couple and will be performing their wedding in October. I didn’t tell them about Sunday’s ceremony. Maybe there is a reason I like funerals.
Hope you have a great week.
Barry
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