Memories of Mom

I'm surprised that Mothers Day is so emotional for me. My mom was about the sweetest most unselfish mother anyone could wish for. She was a behind the scenes mom who literally lived for my dad and us six siblings. She had us kids in less than nine years. Barely got out of the house, except on Saturday for grocery shopping (she always had at least one or two of us in tow) and on Sunday. Even there mom was always on duty teaching the preschoolers. When mom got lung cancer(she never smoked) we kids were in our selfish teen years. My older sister Marilynn was married and ready to deliver her first child in May of 1966. Mom got sick in October of 65. We just asumed she'd be fine. Moms always get better. We didn't know that Christmas would be her last. She seemed well, did all the shopping, made it as usual all about us kids. We had no idea that when mom went back into the hospital in mid January that she'd never come home again. I don't know if we were all in shock, were we overly insensitive or what, but mom's packed out funeral went well. There dad and us teens were comforting all our guests. Who knew mom had so many friends! I turned 19 shortly after her death and started dating Susan a year later so I was distracted from my mourning. Suprisingly I really didn't begin to work through my grief until I was in my forties. Our girls were grown and I could relate to my parents, loss. I began to understand what my dad must have gone through losing mom. How selfish I had been as a teen. How I wish Susan could have known my mom and mom could know her and our girls. Then when each grandchild was born, I spent some more time crying over the loss of Kelly's and Kristy's grandmother. They would have loved her so much. Who knows why God allows good people to die and others to live? I've written two books on death and grief but still have a lifetime of learning ahead. So here I sit sadly working through a death that occured 40 years ago. Happy mothers Day Mom. Thank you for your love and sacrifice. I think if you knew our kids you would say it was worth it all. I never said it enough but I love you very much!

Barry