Dealing with Grief

At this time of year, most of us are keenly aware of how the holidays can be anything but the wonderful memory-making experience we desire. Especially for those experiencing their first Christmas without a loved one, either through death or a divorce/separation. Sometimes we don't realize that we not only grieve the loss of a loved one, but also the loss of a job, a promotion, or our dreams.

Last week, among my various appointments, there were three, who although they differed in many ways, were all struggling with grief.

My first appointment was with a man who has separated from his wife. We talked about what caused the break up and how he might be able to reunite with his family. I spoke to him about forgiveness and working that through. That’s a very difficult process for him. The flesh, the anger, and the compound hurt on both sides. Pressing us in the right direction is the Holy Spirit, who wants us to enjoy a successful and fulfilling marriage.

A twenty-something woman came to me because she is depressed and suffering from loneliness. She's alone and wishes she was somebody else. This emotionally vulnerable Christmas season does not help her situation. I spent some time talking with her and trying to encourage her. Essentially, she is grieving over the loss of who she wanted to be and feels like she isn't.

I met with a very intelligent, wonderful woman who has just lost her job and she is going through the mourning and grief associated with such a loss. She has already read my book Good Mourning. It wasn’t her fault that she lost her job. They offered her a transfer and she couldn’t do it. She would have had to move her whole family and that wasn't possible. Even though it was her decision, she is still grieving.
One of the most difficult appointments I had was with a pastor who has left his church through difficult circumstances. For him, the grief is extremely difficult because he feels like he has just lost his whole family. He didn’t do anything wrong, and is heartbroken. I tried to help him but ultimately, it is something he will need to work through on his own.

Grief is an inner tearing of the soul that we experience in a time of great loss. The process of grief recovery and good mourning is necessary, and more often than not a solitary experience, to help us walk through a season of grief toward healing.

Through the season of death and loss, the dark lonely nights seem to last forever, but ultimately morning always follows the night. A morning sunrise breaks through bleakness and spreads rays of hope over the desperate hours of grief and sadness. God’s promise is that joy will come in the morning!

Joy is the deep settled satisfaction with life that flows out of a restored soul. When loss unsettles our life journey and grief rips through our soul, God’s intention is that joy will come in our mourning.

So whether your struggles are as a result of some great loss in your life, a goal not achieved, or simply the overwhelming holiday season, I encourage you to be anchored to our transcendent God. Then your faith will see what is invisible to human sight. It will help you look past the grey clouds and help connect your hand to the outstretched hand of your loving Father.

If you would like to order my book, Good Mourning, or would like to meet with me, please call the church at 604-942-7711 or 604-484-8907.

May your joy be full,

Barry